Long time, No post.

I am such a private person. There have been many things that I have considered posting in the last while, though after thinking about posting, most seemed uneventful. I have really enjoyed surfing amongst different blogs and sites. It's nice to see so many people, who are not as private as me, narrating life.

Anyway... we moved. It's been three weeks. There are still boxes. Not many are mysteries anymore and I did run into a few that I couldn't even deal with. The desk. Oh, the desk. There was no box labeled "file folders", so I kept opening boxes looking for file folders so I could unpack the first box I opened. Eventually, my husband saw I couldn't do it and did it himself.

I love our new place. It's warm and we can go outside everyday. I also love that my husband has agreed not to set up the tv. It's so quiet now. Well, with two kids I guess that's relative. But having no Elmo video's, or nightly movies has really helped me to remain calm in general. I also noticed that not having pictures and art on the walls has helped too. We haven't hung any of our art or pictures yet, and I have asked if we can just have bare walls for a bit. It's awesome to not have my mind directed by images all over the house. I wake up to the sound of birds singing and fall asleep to a tumultuous sky filling with thunderheads and lighting. I could stare at a thunderstorm all day and never get bored. Last night I had to look away for a minute and when I came back, all my clouds were gone and unrecognizable. That was sad. Then the sky filled with lightening, that was awesome.

I am trying to find a psychiatrist who works with adults on the autism spectrum. But, so far nothing obvious in my area. There is a great university in the next town south of us with what seems like a pretty extensive autism program. If I don't find someone by the time I have the baby, I am considering driving down there, once I can get around a little better. It's a nice drive anyhow, plus I love the university.

Tomorrow, some friends are coming over to help me move goodwill boxes to the Goodwill. I am so excited to have the space opening up. It should be our last trip. I am not quite prepared, so even though it should be the last one, most likely I will have more in the coming days.

First Entry

It came to me in my not sleep last night that I can blog all my thoughts and knowledge regarding my existence as an ASD Adult. I have just recently discovered I am Autistic, I have been misdiagnosed in the past as depressed, and (believe it or not...) overly well adjusted. Huh?!!! Is that a real diagnosis? I was really baffled by this one. None the less, I knew I was still outside the realm of the rest of the human race.

I am a stay at home Mom. I have two kids, they are 3 and 2, and we are having another child in September. Mom is not the job for someone like me. Most days, I shut down midafternoon and all I can do is cry. I am not sad. I love my kids. But, all my senses are blowing up inside me. The kids are so loud and they are constantly touching me and calling my name. It's especially hard with the baby moving inside too. I know getting through the first year of breastfeeding will be the hardest trial yet. It's all too much. I would love to work more. It scares me to leave my kids in the care of someone else though, as most people I have met are insensitive and quite stupid. I am pretty sure my son is also ASD. My daughter however appears completely average.

My skill set includes, playing piano, french horn, flute and singing, modeling (mostly runway) and acting (a new skill).

I wonder how my life would be different if my parents knew I was autistic. The big question... would they have ensured my music training knowing that I would most likely have one interest and that would be my best bet at a stable adult life? Playing french horn has been my interest since I was eight. Something to think about I guess.

Well, that's all for now. I intend this site to be full of information on Autism as well as my own thoughts about the matter.